Globe Syndicate

for release February 16, 2001

Another Way

by Melodie Davis

How to Cope with Different Workstyles

In my last column I looked at differences in personalities and workstyles and how they affect our work and our relationships-at home and on the job. One man, who went through a workshop looking at different workstyles, said quite frankly that he thought that the presenters were stacking the deck against the person who operates like a "Semi-Truck." After all, it's not necessarily a flattering image, he said.

The Semi-Truck workstyle is one where a husband comes to his wife, for instance, with a half dozen ideas of things they might do on their vacation. He fully expects his wife to come with her own ideas and be prepared to discuss and negotiate. When she responds with "Well, I can see you have it all planned for us again," the husband is dumbfounded. The person with this workstyle moves ahead, expecting others to do the same; his problem may be in seeming more authoritarian than he wishes to be.

"Who would ever admit that he "goes after issues aggressively"? the wife asked the presenters.

"Well, I like to do that," said her husband, proving that opposites are
frequently married to each other. Or work in the same office or factory. When we understand that we have genuine differences in workstyles it takes some of the frustration out of getting along. It helps to do a bit of analysis. Most of us genuinely want to know how we can avoid exasperating our mates or our work partners.

Remember the "Human Radar" I mentioned last time? She enjoys being sensitive to the needs of others and making others happy. But this person is in danger of being so accommodating that she becomes a doormat, may be seen as wishy washy, or just plain silly (trying too hard to harmonize with others). She may talk or laugh inappropriately. What she may need is attention and affirmation.

The "Turtle with a Computer" sometimes frustrates others with a mound of slow questions and comments-comments that seem like foot dragging or criticism. A person with this style may become unresponsive and defeated when he is faced with too many questions. "You don't have to answer me today, but could you think about..." is a helpful way to give some latitude to this kind of person.

The person who barrels ahead ("Semi-Truck") with ideas and plans may seem pushy, especially when others don't know how to respond. The natural leader then becomes even more pushy if he doesn't seem to get a response. What this type of person needs is an immediate response such as "I'll get back to you tomorrow on my ideas for our vacation."

Finally, the "Bicycle Built for Two" person becomes frustrated or feels martyred when she has to function alone or has too many demands to meet at once. In addition to lending a hand to this type of person, allow her time to back off and over time she might see things in perspective.

There are probably as many different individual workstyles as there are people, so these generalizations may not be helpful to your particular situation. But after being married for almost 25 years and working in one place for over 25, I think one of the most helpful things is to try to keep an objective outlook. Try not to take things personally, and communicate honestly when someone does something that perplexes you.

Its fascinating to discover what makes other people tick-or ticked off. Trying to understand our co-workers or spouse always pays off big dividends. (For more help, see the book, Communication at Work, by Patrick Fraleigh and Susan Gilmore.)

Send your stories to: Melodie Davis, Another Way c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper; or e-mail: Melodie@mennomedia.org.

You can also visit Another Way on the Web at www.thirdway.com.

Melodie Davis is the author of seven books and has written her column since 1987. She taught feature writing and has won awards from a number of organizations including the National Federation of Press Women, Virginia Press Women and the American Advertising Association. She and her husband have three growing daughters.

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 605 words; end material = 105 words

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
Write to: Melodie Davis, Another Way c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper; or e-mail: Melodie@mennomedia.org.

You can also visit Another Way on the Web at www.thirdway.com.

Melodie Davis is the author of seven books and has written her column since 1987. She taught feature writing and has won awards from a number of organizations including the National Federation of Press Women, Virginia Press Women and the American Advertising Association. She and her husband have three growing daughters.

NOTES TO EDITORS: text =  words; end material = 105 words

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.

©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.

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