Globe Syndicate
for release Friday November 7, 2003
Another Way
by Melodie Davis
Band Parent
Everyone wants to be involved in a winning effort. Everyone wants to be
superior, award-winning. But sometimes those things just elude your grasp.
Difficulty in attaining those goals makes us realize that such things happen
only with a good amount of determination, hard work, talent, and practice. The
difficulties make the joy of attaining a goal that much sweeter.
My two younger daughters are still involved in marching band (one a senior in
high school and one a junior in college), something that neither my husband nor
I did in high school. But we’ve been glad to tag along for these last 12 years,
always watching from afar in the stands and sometimes up close pushing the
xylophones for competitions. As football season winds down in the U.S., I can’t
help but reflect that band has been a marvelous and critical part of their
education. The same can be said for many other extra-curricular activities
whether sports, drama, academic quizzing, or technical competitions.
Our girls enjoyed being “band nerds” –not outcasts but their very own group and
family with whom to bond, hang out, laugh, cry, fight, get in trouble, fall in
love. At least that is the way they looked at their band “family.”
They worked hard and loved playing—but somehow when it came to festival
competitions, they just couldn’t bring home a “superior.” It was very
disappointing. They felt badly when other departments and programs of the school
competed in various places and won “firsts” or “superiors” and the band didn’t.
Their long time high school director retired last year (honorably). Band
programs in many localities have gone through tough times in recent years when
faced with the demands that standardized testing and learning place on the rest
of the school curriculum. The director had to make marching band be an “all
volunteer” program, with many practices outside of school hours. In the move to
an all-volunteer marching band, the program lagged at our school and had a very
small group for a couple years as it built up enthusiasm, reputation and
volunteers.
This year we welcomed a new director with fresh enthusiasm, ideas and ways of
doing things. The director also had this outlandish notion that these kids had
what it took to win an “honor” band designation at the state level for marching
band. As a frequent clinic judge herself, she knew what it took, and had the
chutzpah to convince the kids they could do it. Half of winning is believing you
can.
Still, after their first marching band state competition in many years, we
breathlessly awaited the judging results. With 14 schools in their small-school
division (under 1,000), there were plenty of “good’s” and “excellents” being
handed out, and only a couple “superiors”—the top designation we wanted to hear.
I squeezed my daughter’s knee as we waited. They had played very well, but had
their performance been good enough?
Then, “Broadway High School – superior!” The coveted announcement rang out,
quickly drowned out by cheers from our students, teachers and parents. What a
rush! We jumped up and down. We hugged. A few tears were wiped away, especially
by those of us who remembered the long years of always being an “also ran.”
I never knew what it meant to be a band parent but I’m happy to have experienced
something new through my children: the fun of buying and selling fundraising
sandwiches, cleaning up stadiums, selling programs, getting up at 4 a.m. for the
band chicken barbecue, going along on some trips—it is all part of the
experience. The nice thing is your kids don’t have to be particularly musical or
talented to experience all this at the high school level: most kids can be
taught to play at least one instrument.
Band is a good extension of our family values: it teaches determination, hard
work, the beauty of music, the joy of creation, and the value of practicing
(even in extreme heat and snowy cold). It teaches the value of teamwork: band
literally cannot be accomplished as a solo effort. It teaches listening to
leaders, obeying the rules, keeping in step, being good losers. When it comes to
winning, it takes all these things and sometimes, just a little luck in picking
music that please the particular judges, and the right “place” in the
competition-line up (neither first nor last). Whether they win or lose, they
like Moms and Dads supporting them. One said, “The best part about any program
or performance is coming out and seeing your proud and smiling faces.”
Viva la band!
For a free photocopied booklet with more “band” stories from Another Way, write
to: Melodie Davis, Another Way c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper; or e-mail:
Melodie@mennomedia.org.
You can also visit Another Way on the Web at www.thirdway.com.
Melodie Davis is the author of seven books and has written her column since
1987. She taught feature writing and has won awards from the National Federation
of Press Women, Virginia Press Women and the American Advertising Association.
She and her husband have three daughters.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 767 words; end material = 105 words
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©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.