Globe Syndicate
for release Friday December 12, 2003
Another Way
by Melodie Davis
The Gifts of Others
One woman was having a hernia procedure done as an outpatient. First her case
was delayed by three hours because someone needed an emergency kidney operation,
but instead of stewing and worrying, she was mildly amused by the type A surgeon
who was miffed because another surgeon had power-played him out of “his” surgery
slot.
Then, the nurse pushing her to surgery paused to scan a job vacancy notice on
the bulletin board, and referred to the woman as an “it” as she lay there
vulnerable on the gurney. Finally the anesthesiologist was getting ready to put
her under when his cell phone rang and he left the surgery suite. I’m not
picking on medical people. This true story could have happened in any workplace
with different specifics.
But this patient, instead of demanding her rights as a customer or privately
fuming, laughed it off. She was just ecstatic when she woke up because they were
able to do the procedure by arthroscopy instead of surgery saving her weeks of
recovery and therapy (from Jean Marie Laskas’ Nov. 9, 2003 Washington Post
Magazine column).
What kind of woman can look at all these frustrating experiences and be so laid
back? Probably a super type B personality.
I was thinking one day about how essential it is to have variety in this world.
If everyone was a type A personality—high strung, over-achieving, competitive,
barely knows how to relax, aggressive, clock watcher—what an anxious world this
would be. On the other hand, if everyone was type B—laid back, leaving important
things to chance, uncompetitive, chronically late, and a doormat, that’s not
good either.
Are you one of those persons who has to have everything figured out ahead of
time, and know how and when something is going to happen? Or are you one who is
satisfied to have a general idea of plan, leaving things to chance and
opportunity, feeling that stuff usually works out in the end. Why borrow
trouble? You are relaxed, uncompetitive, and maybe inclined to introspection and
self-analysis. This kind of person does well at taking the heat—because they
refuse to allow heat to make them hot.
On the other hand, what would we do without the extreme type A’s—creative
achievers who get a lot done and make sure others do their jobs right and on
time. They ask the who, what, when and where questions—and worry less about
pondering the eternal whys.
One day I was driving to town and watched the falling leaves scatter. We talk
about each snowflake being different: I’m guessing that no one has ever found
identical leaves, identical flowers, or even real identical twins. All of this
is a reminder of how God loves variety: different colors, shapes, sizes,
languages!
Think about your office, school or workplace setting: how well do the gifts of
one complement those of another? Where a workplace gets into trouble is if it is
filled with exactly all the same type of individuals (maybe part of why so many
dot coms went under so fast). A workplace with all the same types probably
doesn’t actually happen very often, given the terrific variety of individuals
there are in the world. By planning or happenstance, as gifts and tendencies are
exercised, people become more A or more B, depending on the situation. When no
one else is taking leadership, I can step forward and be assertive, but that is
not a natural role I choose.
On a quick online survey regarding type A and type B, (http://psychology.about.com/library/jv/bljv_pers.htm)
I was not too surprised to discover that I am a blend or mix between the
extremes of both these parts. This is an analysis that has been frequently
echoed by others over many years.
Long ago, St. Paul wrote in his first letter to the people of Corinth, Greece,
“Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.” He notes that if the foot
were to say, well, I’m not as important as a hand, so they don’t need me, that
would be ludicrous. In the same way each and every person offers different
gifts, perspectives and personality. After I took the test, I went back through
and answered the questions as though my husband were answering, and was
surprised to find that he (at least my perception of him) is a blend of types
too, but leaning more towards A and me more towards B. In life there is an
infinite combination of personality types—many more than the 30 different number
assignments given by the test makers!
This is good to think about this time of year: if you are frustrated by not
having money or time to give the gifts you’d like, think about the gifts that
others bring to your life, and thank them for that in a card or e-mail.
For your free Christmas gift from Another Way, write for our calendar. Send to:
Melodie Davis, Another Way c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper; or e-mail:
Melodie@mennomedia.org.
You can also visit Another Way on the Web at www.thirdway.com.
Melodie Davis is the author of seven books and has written her column since
1987. She taught feature writing and has won awards from the National Federation
of Press Women, Virginia Press Women and the American Advertising Association.
She and her husband have three daughters.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 830 words; end material = 105 words
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