The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release December 31, 1999
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Don't Let Age Stop You From Getting Help
Question: My father, 82, has been having trouble with his hip, says he has a lot of pain, and needs help getting into and out of bed, chairs, etc. The doctor recommends hip surgery. My sister says he's too old for such surgery.
Answer: As long as your father's basic health is good, such surgery can eliminate the pain. No one should have to live with pain if there is help available. Age today, given new medical technologies, should not be a determining factor.
The Mayo Clinic recently released a survey which shows that even those over 100 years old can benefit from surgery.
Helping your father become pain-free and regain his independence will go a long way to ensuring his last years are better.
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Question: My uncle, 76, has to have a tumor removed from his elbow. The doctor recommends he go to a nursing home for a week or two afterwards. He doesn't want to go to a nursing home. How can we convince him?
Answer: Depending on the extent of surgery, he may not need a nursing home.
Elements to evaluate include: is there someone at home to help him dress, bathe and fix meals? Or can he hire someone?
He probably will need physical therapy. He can get home visits via Medicare or at a hospital on an outpatient basis or by a private licensed therapist.
Studies show that people, especially the elderly, generally recover faster at home. They are more comfortable in a known and familiar environment.
Even, if the surgery is extensive, the visiting nurse can regularly change the dressing and monitor his condition. However, when a chronic illness is factored in and which needs to be controlled, a rehab or acute care nursing home might be advisable.
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Question: My parents, in their 70s, were in a car accident and badly bruised - nothing broken. My father continues to have pain in his elbow and refuses pain medicine or physical therapy, as suggested by the doctor. His complaints are getting my mother down.
Answer: No one should have to experience constant pain when medicine and help, such as physical therapy, are available.
After such an accident, time has a way of healing what was bruised. However, because of the pain, your father is probably using that arm less, which means the muscles get weak very quickly.
Physical therapy can help strengthen the muscles around the elbow and coupled with time should help a full recovery. The therapy may be painful and tire him out, but in the long run can be very beneficial. Someone else should drive him and stay with him during the session, and over the counter pain relievers can provide the comfort he deserves.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 440 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©1999 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.