The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release February 11, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
YOU ARE NOT "GUARANTEED TO WIN"
Question: My father, 75, recently looked at my mother's checkbook and saw that she has been sending well over $100 a month to various sweepstakes contests. She's never gotten anything, but she insists she's "going to win big-time." How can we stop this waste of money?
Answer: Yes, the vast majority of these contests are a waste of money, and few, if any, people ever see anything worthwhile. All too often people with limited incomes fall prey to the advertising material. The catch are those little tiny words printed on the entry forms, which generally state that you'll win "if your number is chosen." Odds are often 60 million to one - against you ever winning.
The National Consumer's League has a number of free brochures on the subject.
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Question: My parents (in their 70s) were approached by someone they know from Church, who talked them into investing $6,000 in a "great company that will make millions." We can't find anything about this company (out-of-state) and the person who "sold" them the stock has taken a leave of absence from his job. We're worried!
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Answer: You're smart to be worried. Your parents may never see
their money
again - much less any dividends. The National Consumers League
reports thousands of such schemes each year. The sales pitch is given
by a friend of a friend and you "must make an immediate decision to take
advantage of this marvelous opportunity."
If you have to make an immediate decision - or one within a couple of days - be very suspicious. All legitimate investments will allow you time to make a decision and will give you information in writing. Any new venture should be checked out by your accountant or lawyer.
People are often reluctant to admit they've been defrauded. By reporting such activities to the proper authorities, you can prevent someone else from losing his/her money.
There are various fraud hotlines. SEC-800-732-0330; National Association of Securities Dealers, 800-289-9999. Always call your local and state Better Business Bureau before you invest.
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Question My father, 83, has become very confused and hasn't been paying bills properly. At the same time, he has been sending checks to various charities who send him address labels or some other cheap item. He won't listen to me.
Answer First, I do hope someone has Durable Power of Attorney for him. Otherwise, you may reach a point where you have to go to court to obtain guardianship. This is expensive.
Second, get a post office box for your father and have all mail sent there. Then you can sort out these charitable requests and those contest advertisements. Give him the other mail, and work with him to make sure the bills are paid.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 470 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2000 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.