The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release August 4, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
Give Of Yourself = Best Gift
Question We're planning a surprise 80th birthday party for my aunt. Everyone's asking "What does she need?" "What should we bring?" I don't know what to say.
Answer The greatest gift to anyone is the sharing of self - time to do and enjoy. Even an hour over a cup of tea or coffee is very meaningful. If everyone pledges to spend time with your aunt in the months after the party, I'm sure she'll experience many more memorable days
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More TIPS from readers
> From a wheelchair-bound "young" senior, "Whatever time you give, make it their time. If you spend the time talking about all you have to do when you get home, then you are laying a guilt trip on me."
> "For out of town kids, give your gifts to their needs and budget. Flowers are nice, but baking supplies are expensive and an assortment of these would be great for some. Also assorted greeting cards for them to send, note paper, magazine subscriptions, and a woman is never too old for cologne."
> And one home bound person wrote "A computer is a blessing. Mine was a Mother's Day gift from my four kids. Shopping, games, letter writing, e-mail, and most important - a challenge. I am still learning."
> During the winter, one reader talked about emergency supplies - extra flashlights and batteries, candles and wooden matches, a battery-operated radio and canned goods (and a non-electric can opener). "These things are practical, especially for those who live too far away to get there quickly."
> For that special birthday aunt or other relative, favorite or gourmet foods that she wouldn't buy herself and gift certificates to a favorite store or restaurant are always well received.
Remember, we're always looking for more ideas and your questions.
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Question My aunt, 74, was always a good eater. Lately I've noticed she eats very little and leaves all the meat on her plate. She's also losing weight and seems to be taking a lot of pain medicine. What's going on? She says she's OK.
Answer I'm not a doctor, but her not eating meat rings a loud bell.
When was the last time she saw a dentist? Dentures that don't fit properly can cause pain when you eat. Sensitive teeth and/or gums can also make it painful to eat - especially meat.
Regular dental checkups are very important.
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Question My parents' electric bill is very high during the summer because of the air conditioners (only two). They have limited income. I hate to tell them to shut off the air conditioning because they need it in order to get a good night's sleep.
Answer All electric companies have special discount programs for low income seniors. Call theirs and ask. Also, most towns have special discounts for real estate taxes. Call their local tax assessor.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 485 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2000 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.