The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
for release October 6, 2000
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
AGE IS A STATE OF MIND
Question: I am 76 and in excellent health. I want to visit my home town in Italy. I left 50 years ago. I've been writing to cousins for years and now want to see them all. My son, in particular, is overprotective and doesn't want me to go alone. He says, "you're too old." Need support.
Answer: "Old" age is a matter of attitude, especially if you're physically healthy, rather than chronological age. So, go for it!
A recent random survey of 200 people of all ages shows that attitude is a key determining factor in whether a person is "old." "People are old when they think they are," was one person's comment. Those surveyed also said that how a person walks and moves around is also an indicator of "age."
As you're visiting relatives, your son shouldn't worry. They'll make sure you stay in safe hotels, are steered to taking reliable tours, and will be there just in case you do get sick.
It is advisable to take out a special medical insurance policy - just in case. Make sure it includes not only hospital and doctors bills but also "medivac" benefits (plane transportation).
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Question: My mother, 77, wants to take a Mediterranean cruise next spring,
so she can visit her homeland and wants me to go with her. I am wary. First,
because of her age. Second, because I've never traveled overseas. Should
I discourage her?
Answer Encourage her! A well-planned trip, regardless of one's age, can be a marvelous experience. Visiting her homeland and possibly seeing relatives can provide a great emotional high. Certainly for you, it would open-up new life experience doors.
A few TIPS
* Choose a trip that fits her physical capabilities. Some very large ships must anchor offshore in small ports. A smaller boat is needed to reach shore, and the transfer can be tricky. So choose the right kind of ship.
* Make sure you take current medical records, a list of all medications taken and dosages, extra medicine, and duplicate prescriptions in case medicine is lost. Never pack medicine in your suitcase. Carry them with you.
* From California, you have a long flight to pick up the ship. A couple of days in New York can help ease the physical toll of travel.
* On the plane, put a pillow behind you just above your waist and get up and walk around once an hour. Also, drink a lot of liquids. Plane air is much dryer than outside air.
I have a marvelous TIP booklet and will send readers a copy. Drop me a note, with your name and address to Box 132, Wickatunk, New Jersey 07765.
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Question: My parents (in their 70s) are struggling financially. My father worked for several companies over the years and receives a small pension from the last one. But we have no idea if he's entitled to any other pension. We don't know how to even begin because several companies have merged.
Answer: You can start with the US Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp, which has old records. There are several web sites:www.phgc.gov or www.unclaimedassets.com. Your local reference library should also be able to help you track things down via the internet.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 495 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.
©2000 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.