for release May 11, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
SHARED TIME AND NEW EXPERIENCES
3 Generation Vacations
2nd of a 3 Part Series
Most people today are not "aged," even if they're in their 70s or 80s. Of course, everyone is "aging."
Everyone can enjoy and benefit from new experiences, meeting new people, and surrounding oneself in an environment entirely different from day-to-day activities. Often just being in a new environment, sitting under a tree with a drink or on a beach, surrounding oneself with magnificent scenery, can fuel the soul.
The keys to multi-generation vacations involving children may not be easy to find. The basic steps in a 3-generation vacation are the same as those noted in the first article in this series.
· Identify and communicate interests.
· Plan together - even if grandparents live far away, the telephone can connect. Getting children involved, looking through brochures, is a great learning experience.
· Identify restricting elements, of all three generations. Physical capabilities are important. Babies and very young children can't do a lot of things. Don't expect the grandparent to baby-sit while you, the sandwich generationer, go off on your own.
The stamina level of older people today is high -- sometimes higher than those with desk jobs. I've heard many stories of the eldest still going strong, and the sandwich generationer being wiped out Don't expect the eldest to always want to stay at the hotel at night. An afternoon rest (for the eldest and youngest - and even the in between) increases dinner-time and night enjoyment.
· Identify several places/trips that have a variety of activities. Not everyone likes the same things. This is a major key. Some activities should be good for all generations. Others for each generation. Everyone doesn't have to do everything together. A little 'separateness" can increase the verbal sharing of new experiences.
For example, I visited Kartchner Caverns (south of Tucson) last year. Discovered in 1974 by two young men, these caverns, marvels of nature, were formed 500,000 years ago. They were only opened to the public in 1999. Besides the guided underground tour, there is a Discovery Center with interactive displays, videos and a replica of the caves. With a ramp way throughout (instead of steps), all generations can easily enjoy the marvels of nature. Wheelchair and stroller accessible. (Tickets do need to be purchased way in advance).
Nearby is Tombstone. Another great multi-generation experience. A horse-driven wagon ride and "shoot out" are fun for everyone. The variety of stores and art galleries might separate generational interests -- and that's OK.
Various theme parks and large resorts and national parks have a wide range of activities. There are also specialized multi-generational trips, including ones from the Sierra Club. In these trips, generations often have their own interest activities, and day camps and baby sitting are often available. Organized tours also provide security, convenience, often value, peer companionship, fun and education. And most important -- time devoted to new things and meeting new people.
Next Week: On Your Own
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 520 words; other material = 160 words
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©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.