for release June 8, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
FAST MEDICAL TREATMENT KEY TO MINIMIZING HEART ATTACK DAMAGE
Question: I'm in my late 60s and healthy. I have a friend who is always calling EMS (emergency medical services) for every pain and ache. I think it's terrible to trouble these good people. She gets upset with me when I say this.
Answer: Certain kinds of pain, particularly through the body area, can be a sign of serious illness.
Medical studies show that stroke and heart attack patients have a better
recovery rate if treated with some of the new drugs within a one to three
hour window of opportunity.
The studies show that individuals with chest pain who have blood tests
in the ER for multiple biochemical markers receive faster diagnosis and
better risk assessment. Thus damage can be minimized.
911 should be used for unusual pain. Her doctor should discuss her fears with her.
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Question: My mother, 83, lives in Florida and has trouble handling the heat in the summer. But she refuses to come north. Last summer she had to be rushed to the hospital, and I had to take time off from work. She's very stubborn.
Answer: Generally, the brain (so I've been told) does not react well to high heat and humidity. Heat cramps, exhaustion and stroke can occur.
To prevent any of these, your mother should drink plenty of liquids, stay inside in air conditioning, cut down on physical exercise. Even walking on the shaded side of a street can be helpful.
As long as your mother is mentally competent, it's up to her to prevent heat-related illnesses. Also, to live where she wants to. You can't live her life for her. At the same time, you can encourage her to take care of herself. Maybe she can take a break by visiting family or even participating in a university-run summer program especially geared to older people.
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Question: My father, 71, had a stroke and has trouble getting around. He makes demands for this and that with no concern about what I'm doing. I get so mad and frustrated. Then I feel guilty. Help!
Answer: If your father is confined to his room or the family room, set it up so he can handle things himself.
A remote control for the TV. A cordless phone on a table right next to his chair. A thermos filled with his favorite drink, and some snack food placed on the table. Books and magazines might also be there. Then he can reach everything himself.
You also need to do some safety proofing. No electric cords in front of furniture. Rearrange furniture so he has a clear straight path to the bathroom.
You said he has trouble getting around. To me this means he still can do so. Keep up physical therapy and do encourage him to do as much as possible himself. Get him to help you, e.g., fold laundry and things he can do sitting down. It'll make him feel useful.
As frustrating as it is for you, it's just as unsettling for your father who has been used to doing things for himself.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
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