for release July 6, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
FORGETFULNESS AND CONFUSION = NOT ALZHEIMER'S
Question: My father, 76, plays poker with friends once a week. The other day, he rushed out of the house, closing and locking the door. When he got to the car, he realized he didn't have his keys or wallet. He's very upset and thinks he's got Alzheimer's. Does he?
Answer: Not likely. Having a momentary memory lapse (one young child calls them "senior moments") or a mental block is not indicative of Alzheimer's. It's what it is - a momentary lapse.
Anyone, at any age, can forget something - why he/she went into the kitchen or garage; the name of someone known for many years; a particular word during a conversation.
Forgetfulness is serious if you can't remember how to do something you do all the time or what a key is for. Keeping a house key hidden somewhere outside can prevent problems when you lock yourself out - regardless of age.
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Question: My mother, 69, suffers from allergies and recently had a serious sinus infection. Ever since she's been very confused, forgetful, and agitated. Is she demented?
Answer: Not likely! If she took antibiotics for the infection, the medicine could be the cause of the confusion. Or she may be dehydrated. When you don't feel well, often you don't drink enough fluids or eat properly. Antibiotics can impact sense of taste - so food doesn't taste good.
Also, the antibiotics may have reacted adversely with other medication. So, look closely at all these elements. If her confusion continues, get a full geriatric medical evaluation.
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Question: My father, 79, was never a good eater - very fussy. My mother died last year and my father seems to be very confused. My father thinks he has Alzheimer's and is upset. The doctor says there's nothing wrong.
Answer: I'm not a doctor, but I do know that most doctors do not test for hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Testing for high sugar (diabetes) is routine. Low blood sugar can cause mass confusion.
If your father has been a fussy eater, your mother probably catered to him. Now he probably isn't eating enough protein, vegetables, etc. A well-balanced diet may solve the problem. Vitamins and minerals can also help balance metabolism. If not, seek another doctor. Confusion is not a natural element in aging, nor is Alzheimer's.
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Question: My father recently died, and my mother, 80, sits home all day playing solitaire and doing those word games. She refuses to even try to handle bill paying. At times she seems confused. Does she have Alzheimer's?
Answer: Not likely! The fact that she's playing cards and word games means her brain is being kept active - and that's very good.
In reference to staying home, she's undoubtedly grieving, may need time alone or encouragement to find new interests.
In reference to the check book, it may be she's afraid. Especially if your father handled the finances. Help her understand the check book process and pay every day bills. Someone should have Durable Power of Attorney for her - to help with the larger financial picture.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
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