for release November 23, 2001
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
BE WATCHFUL ON EVERYDAY TELEPHONE CALLS
Question: My mother, 77, lives alone, about 25 miles from me. We usually talk several times a week and there is a charge because we're out of each other's calling area. We both have answering machines that connect at the 6th ring. Often, we just hang up before that.
Last month, my mother's bill seemed high. She's on a fixed small income. When I looked at their bill - and then my own - I saw charges for a large number of one minute calls. We do not talk to each other that much and when we do it's for more than one minute. The telephone company says it only charges for calls that connect. Is this true?
Answer: No! Many telephone companies charge for a call even if you are not connected or don't get an answer! I've learned that they charge if you are on the line and the phone rings for 6 seconds. Yes, you read that number correctly - 6 seconds.
This seems to me to be one of the biggest unrecognized frauds around. Telephone companies take in millions of dollars for services not rendered.
You and your mother should keep a daily log of every call outside of your local area. Make a specific note next to the number that no one answered. Then call the phone company and demand credit.
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Question: My mother, 70, lives alone and is often lonely. She often talks with telemarketers, just to talk to someone else.
She received a letter in the mail that she won a vacation weekend. She had an unfamiliar number to call. She was shocked to receive a $156 charge for what she said was only a few minutes. This is outrageous.
Answer: Yes! It is outrageous and part of widespread telephone scams. With all the new, unfamiliar area codes, it's easy for scam artists to take advantage of everyone, regardless of age.
If you have to call an unfamiliar number, call your local telephone company to find out where the number is located. Many of these scams use numbers outside the U.S.
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Question: My stock broker says he can get me CDs (certificates of deposit) at a much higher rate than my neighborhood bank. I'm wary.
Answer: You're smart to be wary. The SEC and AARP are reporting big time scams involving the sale of CDs through brokers. Deal with a reputable bank where the CD is federally insured. You may get a few dollars less. But your money will be FDIC insured.
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Question: My parents (late 70s) can no longer drive and have to take
taxis to their many doctors' appointments. It's getting very expensive.
Answer: Have your parents get receipts from the taxi company and keep a careful record/diary of the costs. If they meet other criteria, taxi costs should be deductible for IRS purposes. One way to prevent the taxi company from taking advantage of them, is to set up an account and have the bills sent to you.
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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132) or e-mail her at SandwchGen@aol.com. Carol also has a web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 465 words; other material = 160 words
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©2001 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.