Globe Syndicate
for release November 15, 2002
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
STAFF PHILOSOPHY KEY TO QUALITY ASSISTED LIVING
(Part 2 of 2)
Question: At 82, I no longer can bathe safely by myself, do laundry or cleaning,
and hate to cook. Is assisted living right for me?
Question: My father, 84, should not live alone because of increasing health
problems. He needs help in daily personal care tasks and medicine control. We
have no room for him and live 50 miles away. What should we do?
Answer: Assisted living residences are marvelous for many. Where people need
some help, particularly in bathing and medicine control, assisted living
provides a safer environment. Unless, of course, you can afford and have room
for live-in help.
Assisted living provides healthy food and a social environment that helps elders
be happier.
To find out if it's right for you (or a parent), ask if they allow someone to
"visit" for 2 to 4 weeks and "test the waters."
Things to look for, either beforehand or when "visiting" include:
* Staff personalities: Does the staff walk around smiling and say "hi, how are
you today?" or do they hurry from one place to another?
* What is the staff to residents ratio? Too few helpers can mean services are
not provided when desired.
* Is the help schedule rigid or flexible? Who decides when a service (such as
bathing assistance) is given? The resident? Or the staff? Flexibility is
important.
* How are the rooms set up? Is there a clear path to the bathroom from the bed?
Do you first see the bed when you enter the room? Or a pleasing sitting
arrangement?
* If you need a special diet, will you get it on a daily basis?
* What is the layout of the facility itself? How easy is it to get around? How
far is it from the room to the dining room?
Do keep in mind that assisted living facilities (as opposed to multi-level
continuing care facilities) cannot require a sizable up front fee for admission.
One or two months "security" can be required as is the case when you rent an
apartment or house.
Also, finances should remain in the control of the family and assets should
remain in the resident's name. DO NOT turn over assets or social security
payments to a facility.
Be sure to check with the local consumer affairs bureau and the state to see if
there have been complaints filed.
* * *
Question: My mother wants to go into an assisted living home. How do we make
sure she gets her money's worth?
Answer: Make sure
* The contract she signs is in clear understandable English and not legalese;
* The specific services provided in the package are listed;
* Any extra services are listed with the cost;
* There is a description of the room and square footage;
* The method of payment and amount are clearly spelled out.
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, c/o
Name\Address of YOUR newspaper (or mail direct to her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk,
NJ 07765-0132) or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 485 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
of the column.
©2002 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.