Globe Syndicate
For release Friday, April 11, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
NOURISHING ONE’S SOUL THROUGH
CRAFTS REDUCES STRESS
Question: I have to take my parents (80s) to one doctor or another every week. I
waste so much time just sitting in the office and the waiting is stressing out
both myself and parents.
Answer: You can reduce the waiting time by calling ahead to see if the doctor’s
schedule is on time. Then time your arrival for no more than 10 to 15 minutes
before the appointment.
Also get involved in some activity that you can take with you so you’re not just
twiddling your thumbs. A book or crossword puzzle. Or some sort of needlepoint,
knitting or crocheting.
A friend of mine has a store called “Threads.” She makes the following comments:
“needlepoint is therapy. It’s good for your soul.”
Such crafts are easy to learn. You take them with you, and when you’ve finished
a project, you have a feeling of accomplishment. And your relatives and friends
can enjoy what you’ve made.
Even those with arthritis can do these craft activities because they require
little physical strength and vision can be impaired. There are needles
especially designed for those with hand problems.
One minister puts it this way: “The arts connect us to the energy and breath of
life - that is, the spirit. Only when we are in touch with our creative energies
can we direct our energies to making peace. ....if one is in touch with one’s
creative center, the spirit is energized to move one forward on the journey of
life.”
An art psycho-therapist says, “through the arts of any kind, you express
yourself, thereby releasing stress. You put yourself into something tangible. In
art there are no rules, no objectives, no definable products. Art expression is
done for the expression of self, not for an end result.”
Question: I spend hours each week at my mother’s house, cleaning, doing laundry
and cooking batches of food. I get all tight even thinking of having to do these
chores.
Answer: First, a question. Do you have to do them or can you hire someone else?
If you do have to do them, look at ways to change the environment. While cooking
or cleaning put on music; music that has a peppy beat to energize yourself. Or
soothing music. I have a marvelous CD “Spirit of the (Grand) Canyon,” which has
helped relieve much tension and anxiety. Music helps the soul.
Just changing the environment around a potentially tense task can help ease your
stress. For example, decorate the laundry room with attractive paper or funny
pictures - some things that make the environment pleasant rather than flat and
boring.
So change the little things and bring pleasure back into your life.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 462 words; other material = 160 words
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©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.