Globe Syndicate
For release Friday May 9, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
PAIN CAN AND MUST
BE CONTROLLED
Question: My father, 69, has colon cancer and is in extreme pain. The doctor
refuses to give him enough pain medication because he says he may be prosecuted.
That doesn’t make sense to me, and I’m emotionally torn up seeing my father in
pain.
Answer: My first reaction: get another doctor. Even though assisted suicide may
be against the law in your state, appropriate and aggressive pain management is
not a crime. Federal law, in fact, today protects a patient’s right to receive
appropriate pain relief treatment.
The Last Acts organization has been trying to educate both law enforcement
officials (states’ attorney generals, etc.) and medical professionals. More
information is on their web site www.lastacts.org. Visit the site, print out
their material and show it to your doctor.
Question: I am sitting here in the hospital next to my mother who is hooked up
to all kinds of machines. I am writing this note on a paper towel because I am
so upset. My mother never wanted machines to keep her alive. The doctor refuses
to cooperate.
Answer: Get another doctor! In your state (N.J.) doctors MUST follow the
patient’s and family’s wishes - or they can be fined as much as $10,000. They
must also turn over all records to another doctor when the family requests it.
You can also transfer her to a hospice facility, where palliative care is
provided. Or you can take her home -- without the machines. At the end, my
father was kept at home with no machines, because that is what he wanted. He
went peacefully, the way he wanted to.
The courts in N.J. and many other states have supported the patient’s right not
to have life-saving or prolonging treatment.
Question: Our doctor tells us (mid 70s) we shouldn’t take ibuprofen medicines
because they can create serious problems. My arthritis bothers me most of the
time. Why should I be in pain?
Answer: You shouldn’t be in pain. But do listen to your doctor. Studies show
that many inflammatory OTC medicines, taken often over time, pose the most
common serious adverse drug reaction. According to the National Consumers
League, as many as 16,000 deaths a year occur. The greatest risk is stomach
bleeding, which can be undetected for quite awhile.
There are alternatives. Talk with your doctor.
You might also try magnet therapy. Put magnets on the hurt areas, keeping them
in place with an ace bandage or Velcro strip. Magnets help increase blood flow
and blood oxygen, which helps decrease inflammation.
Caregiver Survival TIPS
Caregiving can be overwhelming, leading to your own emotional and physical
burnout. From the experts come the following TIPS.
1. Plan ahead.
2. Learn about available resources.
3. Take one day at a time.
4. Develop contingency plans.
5. Accept help.
6. Make YOUR health a priority.
7. Get enough rest and eat properly.
8. Make time for leisure.
9. Be good to yourself!
10. Share your feelings with others.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 504 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
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©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.