Globe Syndicate
For release Friday July 18, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
PETS ARE WORTH THE HASSLE:
LOVE AND COMPANY
Question: My mother, 79, wants to move into a senior residence. They have all
kinds of animals; noisy parrots in the library, two cats wandering around, and a
big dog who follows the housekeeping staff. I don’t want my mother to move
there. She insists.
Answer: Good for her! Pets of any size or shape provide unconditional love to
any one who gives love in return. We all need unconditional love.
Many studies have shown that pet owners are much healthier and recover faster
when sick. I recently visited an ALF near me. They have a dog, part black lab
and corgi. He roams at will. The residents and their families love him.
Question: I took my mother, 68, to the pet store where I buy cat food. She fell
in love with a $1,500 cockatoo (a big bird). She wants it. Birds are so messy,
I’m trying to discourage her. Help!
Answer: As long as a person can afford to buy a pet, pay vet bills, feed it and
take care of it, she should be encouraged.
Cockatoos are usually very friendly, and can provide much love and
companionship. Yes, birds are messy, but the rewards are much higher.
Question: My mother had a stroke and is in a rehab home. She is very depressed
and refuses to do the therapy. She says she misses her cats too much.
Answer: She needs encouragement to do the therapy so she can return home to her
cats. You need to repeatedly tell her this. Tell her the cats miss her too.
Also, whether the rehab facility allows it - or even if not - bring one of the
cats to visit her. Just holding and petting the cat can give comfort and
hopefully provide incentive.
Question: My mother (77) lives alone and has lost much of her hearing. We worry
about her. We live 70 miles away and can’t be there often. Her doctor suggested
a dog. Why?
Answer: A dog provides company. A dog can also alert a hearing impaired person
to visitors. Fully trained hearing dogs can even alert the person to the
telephone ringing.
A great way to keep in touch on a regular basis is to get her an answering
machine with a blinking red light when a message has been left. I think there
are some high tech ones that can even print out the message. Locate it in a
place she frequently passes so she doesn’t forget to check it.
Question: My father died and my mother, 78, has gone into a clinical depression.
Her doctor suggests she get a pet. He says she needs to feel needed, and a pet
might help. I think this is a dumb suggestion.
Answer: The doctor is 100% correct -- provided your mother does like dogs or
cats, or even a bird.
My aunt, years ago, became very depressed when my grandfather died. I got her a
five-year-old, fully trained poodle.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 506 words; other material = 160 words
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©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.