Globe Syndicate
For release Friday September 26, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
FINANCIAL HELP IS AVAILABLE FOR CLUB SANDWICHERS
Question: I’m (59) and really caught in the middle. I’ve been caring for my
mother (89) and now have my two grandchildren (6 and 3). My husband is a
hardworking man, but we don’t have much money. I really need financial help.
Answer: There is help for both ends of the spectrum.
The new Education bill signed in January:
• now specifically names grandparents as “parents” when it comes to some basic
assistance programs. Previously, grandparents were told to “adopt” their
grandchildren, thus losing foster care help;
• makes available money for senior companions;
• makes available money for grandparents raising grandchildren.
More information through Generations United, telephone 202-638-1263.
Also, under IRS regulations, you can
• claim your grandchildren as your dependents, and
• claim your mother as a dependent as long as you pay for at least 50% of her
daily living expenses. A parent is exempt from having to meet other IRS criteria
for being a dependent. There is no income requirements or restrictions.
Question: My mother, 78, is in fairly good health and lives alone. She has very
little income and has difficulty finding money for some home repairs. We’d like
to help but can’t.
Question: My father, 84, wants to remain in his own home. He needs help paying
for some repairs (a new water heater). We live 100 miles away, and can’t help on
a regular basis.
Question: My mother, 72, can no longer take care of my father, 79, as he needs
more and more daily help. They want to stay together in their own house, but
have limited income.
Answer: Everyone (including myself) wants to remain in their own home! So,
sandwich generationers should do whatever possible to help parents stay at home.
Computer technology is marvelous, if you have patience and can figure out how to
surf. Using the web, you can identify many programs that help financially and
provide marvelous guidance.
If you don’t have a computer at home, reference people at your local library can
help.
Two sites to try (besides mine)
• www.benefitscheckup.org
• www.nahc.org/consumer/coninfo.html
• www.sandwichgeneration.com
These sites can link you to various government agencies and non-profit
organizations. .
Question: My parents (mid-70s) live in the midwest where winters are severe. We
want them to go to Florida or Arizona during the winter. They refuse. How can we
convince them it’s safer because there is no snow down south?
Answer: Help ensure their safety in their own home.
Before I give you some TIPS, let me say age itself has little to do with
self-care capabilities. My father was still shoveling snow in his 80s.
A neighborhood teen or local landscape company can plow driveways in the winter.
Make appropriate arrangements ahead of time.
Make sure they have plenty of rock salt or ice-go to put on the steps and
sidewalk. Also make sure they keep backup supplies of basic foods and canned
goods.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132,Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 499 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
of the column.
©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.