Globe Syndicate
For release Friday December 26, 2003
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
ROLE REVERSAL = LEADERSHIP ROLE
Becoming a parent to a parent is not easy. Nor is getting older and losing
decades of capabilities. It is what this column has been about for the past six
years.
As we begin our seventh year, adult children caring for aging parents should
reflect on what a parent (particularly a mother) does and use this as guidance
today.
As many of you know, my mother was a pack rat. She saved much containing words
of wisdom. As another years ends, I sought my own inspiration from what she
left. So let’s look at poems from a 1930s book and words from other yellowed
pieces of paper.
WHO?
Who comforts us and dries our tears?
Mother.
Who makes us wash behind our ears?
Mother.
Who works from morning until night,
With all her heart and all her might,
To make our lives so sweet and bright?
Mother.
Who worries so when we are ill?
Mother.
Who makes us take pill after pill?
Mother.
Who tries to lighten all our cares?
Who every trouble gladly shares?
Who taught us all our little prayers?
Mother.
Who loves us even when we’re bad?
Mother.
Who gave the truest joy we’ve had?
Mother.
Who answers every time we call,
And fills our needs both big and small?
Who loves us far the best of all?
Mother.
****
With all the chores Sandwich Generationers have, two appropriate words come
through loud and clear in “The Two Bears” poem by P.F. Hall.
THE TWO BEARS
Two bears should every home include
That neither growl nor bite.
Bear and Forbear are never rude,
They neither scratch nor fight.
Bear your own burdens. Each one bear,
With the help of the grace of God.
Bear with an air your every care,
And part of the common load.
Forbear, excuse, hold in, refrain,
Clamp down on your tongue keen-tipped.
Speak in the main in a kindly strain
Or shut your mouth, tight-lipped.
Bear and Forbear are a happy pair,
So give them a welcoming.
Bear and Forbear (this is straight and square)
A train of blessings bring.
***
The final words of wisdom for 2003 to think about as you move through the new
challenges of role reversal.
IF
If the birds ceased their song,
Would you want to stay here long?
If the sun would never shine,
Would you smile, dear brother mine?
If no raindrops ever fell,
Would your words of pleasure tell?
If there were no grass and flowers,
Would you know such happy hours?
If there were no friends to share,
Would you feel that life was fair?
If no mother’s love you knew,
Tell me please, what would you do?
A Happy and Healthy New Year to You All!!
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 523 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
of the column.
©2003 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.