Globe Syndicate
For release Friday January 23, 2004
The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents
by Carol Abaya, M.A.
DON’T PREPAY FOR YOUR FUNERAL
Question: When my mother became ill several years ago she arranged her own
funeral through a local funeral parlor and paid for it in full. We have all the
documents. Now the funeral home claims (1) she only put down a substantial
deposit; (2) she didn’t pay for it all; and (3) we owe them $2,800. What should
we do?
Answer: Don’t pay even $1 if you have all the documentation and canceled checks.
Also check the bill carefully to make sure they didn’t double charge or are
charging for something your mother didn’t want.
Death is a very emotional time for a family. Too often funeral bills are paid
without checking the itemized list of services.
Personally, I’m against prepaying for funerals. A person can select a casket
ahead of time and decide the service, etc. Tell the family. My mother selected
my father’s casket the day before he actually died. We also decided on the
viewing arrangements and limos for the service and burial. My mother then just
had to call the funeral parlor when my father died. We did not pay anything
ahead of time. When my mother went, I called and simply said we wanted the same
things as we had for my father. Again, we paid nothing ahead of time. When the
bill came, I carefully checked it and discovered they had double-charged for the
limo. Even the best can make mistakes.
Question: I am 86 and still healthy. I don’t want my children to have the burden
of making funeral arrangements. Is it wise to prepay for my own funeral, giving
the funeral parlor specific instructions as to what I want?
Answer: Preplan, yes. Prepay, NO!
You can select a funeral home, and a casket. Give them instructions as to what
else you would like, and get today’s cost. Tell your executor what you want.
All too often, funeral parlors go out of business before you die. If you prepay,
you’ve lost all the money. (There are some states that have a special state fund
to protect consumers.) Also, at such an emotional time, it will be difficult for
your family to make sure everything you want and paid for is there. More
information on funeral scams is available on the AARP web site www.aarp.org/bulletin/scam
alert.
SCAM ALERT: Some legitimate and very large credit card companies are defrauding
their customers by sneaking in unwarranted finance charges on the monthly bill.
Sometimes it’s only $.50 a month ($6 a year). But for the credit card company,
this can add tens of thousands of dollars into their till. One Chase Financial
Services customer took six months to get a $.50 a month totally unwarranted
finance charge removed.
Closely check every credit card bill for finance and other charges. Make sure
the charges are legitimate and accurate. Refuse to pay if the charge is
incorrect.
Also, check debit card charges. These can also add up to hundreds of dollars a
year. It’s better to use credit cards than debit ones.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself
and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your
once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is
dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns
and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to
her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site:
thesandwichgeneration.com.
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the
unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 571 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end
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©2004 by Globe Syndicate, all rights reserved.