Globe Syndicate

For release Friday March 5, 2004


The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

by Carol Abaya, M.A.


TIME AWAY FROM CHORES IS
CRITICAL TO EMOTIONAL BALANCE

Spring is around the corner. It’s time for “self” or “together.” Time to do things away from your everyday environment and activities. Time to re-energize yourself emotionally. Or time for the whole family to just have fun.

The dot on the map this spring is Williamsburg, VA, home of so much American history and our humble beginnings.

Walking through the primitive Jamestown settlement, circa 1607,. It makes you wonder how they even survived. Walk across the Yorktown battlefield, which heralded the end of our war for independence. A lesson in military strategy and hand to hand battle shows the bloodiness of those non-tech wars.

What does all this have to do with elder caregiving? Williamsburg and other away-from-home sites provide a needed emotional respite for caregivers. You need to leave behind the everyday routine.

In a new place, like Williamsburg, your mind focuses on 250 years ago.

You follow in the footsteps of our early settlers and leaders. The Governors Palace is decorated with the arms and rifles available then. The small shops and haunted houses. The Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Folk Art Museum and the DeWitt Wallace Museum Decorative Arts Museum are must sees. A cruise up the James or York River is a welcome rest after miles of footwork. The forests with immense trees and picnic areas create an entirely different ambiance.

The area provides a marvelous educational experience for all ages and is a reminder of the then and now. Picture an 1800’s man or woman thrust into 2004. Picture him or her in a car going down a highway at 70 miles an hour. Wow!

For the shopper, stores have awesome arts and crafts and plenty of discounts.

Caution, however, is warranted. Roads wind through the forests and often there are no signs or very small ones. Maps are deceptive and cannot be believed. Comfortable walking shoes are a must. Williamsburg is for the hale and hearty!

Question: The holidays have long been over. I’m still exhausted and can’t seem to get out of bed in the morning. My parents, early 80s, are getting frailer and more needy. I need to recreate myself, but don’t know how.


Answer: Everyone, whether or not an elder caregiver, needs a vacation, a complete break from the daily routine.

A weekend at a nearby spa or hotel. A couple of days away from home, with no thoughts about those left behind.

Take time every day for yourself. Hide in a corner or a coffee house. Make sure you get proper nutrition and solid sleep.

While you have a vacation, your parents can also have one. Many assisted living residences have elder care respite programs. It will be a good change for your parents and you can rest easier knowing they are receiving good care.

CAREGIVING TIPS:
• Do as little as possible for aging parents. Keep them independent.
• Put yourself on the top of any to-do priority list. If you get sick, who will care for you all?

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.



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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 571 words; other material = 160 words

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.