Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday May 14, 2004

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

MAKING THAT MOVE EASIER

3rd of 3 parts

 

Question:  My mother, 84, is moving to a senior residence.  While she will have her own apartment, all the things she has accumulated will not fit.  We don’t know where to start.  My mother is having panic attacks.

 

Answer:  One of the hardest things to do is to go through things saved for many years and decide what to do with each item.  It’s a traumatic and emotional time.  Transitions, especially when downsizing a lifestyle, is difficult, to say the least.

 

I recently met a woman who helps seniors, even young ones, who are moving or who want to reduce the amount of ‘things’ they have.  The following TIPS hopefully will help your mother and yourself.

 

1.  Do one room at a time and make lists.  Things to throw out and get rid of; things to give to family members or friends, or a home for abused woman; keep for use; store for future decision.

 

2.  Identify those things you don’t like or are broken.  Throw them out. Also throw out outdated periodicals and papers. (Libraries do not want them.)    Give away things you never liked.  Someone else might love that horrible green vase you got from your mother.  Make a list of things you don’t want, but which another relative might really like and want to have.

 

3.  Identify items that can be sold.  For antiques, get two certified dealers to give you values.  Do not sell things in bulk.  There might be something priceless among the items of little value.  Having a dealer conduct an auction in the house or yard should be considered.  Or some dealers have their own facilities and conduct auctions on a regular basis.  You will get more money this way.

 

4.  Identify items no one wants that might be useful to those less fortunate and contact appropriate organizations.

 

The rooms should be emptier by this time.  Further weed out items you don’t want to keep, and give them away or throw out.

 

Make a to-scale floor plan and use pieces of paper to-scale for each piece of furniture you want to take.  Play around with different layouts.

 

If the process is just too emotional for family members to handle, locate a “downsizing” expert.  They provide guidance in the selection process, links to honorable dealers and movers, and great emotional support.

 

If a move has to be done very quickly, storing the better items and family treasures is another option.  Then the weeding out and giving away process can be done at a more leisurely pace.  But don’t store junk, just to keep it as a ‘maybe.”

 

There is a National Association of Senior Move Managers. Web site is www.nasmm.com.  There may be someone nearby to help you.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 525 words; other material = 160 words

 

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