Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday December 24, 2004

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

LOOK AHEAD, NOT BACK

FOR STRENGTH and WISDOM

 

As another year ends, with another on the horizon, we all search for new wisdom to handle all the goods and bads thrown at us.  To handle all our responsibilities, those we have willingly taken on, and those for which we have no choice.

 

Year-end, for some reason, is the time I look through my mother’s tiny brown book, which has, for years now, given me new insight into my own life and words of wisdom to adopt to life’s changes.  For those of you who have been regular readers of my column, now going into its eighth year, you are probably familiar with past words of wisdom.  For those who may be reading “The Sandwich Generation (R)” for the first time, I sincerely hope you can identify with some of these proverbs and that they help make 2005 better for you and your family.

 

“Do not pray for easy lives.  Pray to be stronger men!  Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks.”  by Phillips Brooks

 

“Believe that you possess significant resources of health, energy, and endurance and your belief will create the fact.”  by Williams James

 

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.”  Swedish proverb

 

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.”  by Bessie Anderson Stanley

 

“I wonder whether man will ever permit himself the happiness that his intelligence has made physically possible.” by Bertrand Russell

 

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.”  by Helen Keller

 

And this last one optimizes my mother, who at 91 was still tutoring second grade disadvantaged youngsters in reading.

 

“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.”  by Arthur Wing Pinero.

 

For my elder readers, remember that getting older doesn’t mean that

            •  you are needy;

            •  you should stop driving;

            •  you should stop doing or learning new things; or

            •  you should stop making new friends.

 

Meeting new challenges and a zest for life should be everyone’s goal.

 

For my sandwich generationer readers, Guidelines for year end AND the New Year:

 

• LOVE them unconditionally, in spite of themselves and your past relationship.

 

•  NURTURE and prop up their roller coaster emotions and help them maintain a positive self-image that they are still  important human beings.

 

•  EMPOWER them to be as independent as possible as long as possible and to retain control of their lives.

 

A Happy and Healthy 2005 to you all.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 512 words; other material = 160 words

 

We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.