Globe Syndicate

For release Friday December 16, 2005

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

Spice Up Food For The Holidays

Question: My mother, 79, loves to bake for the holidays. Because of arthritis her hands have become very painful, and her memory is getting fuzzy. We’re afraid she’ll hurt herself or start a fire. We’d hate to tell her she can’t bake this year.

Answer: Holidays are a time for family and fun. So just extend this concept to a “Baking Day.” Have family members or a friend “bake” with her. Make a party of the process. It might only be for company and helping with some tasks she has difficulty doing. It will also ease your concerns about her putting the cookies in the oven and forgetting about them.

Today there are utensils that make the job easier and safer. Non-skid, lightweight mixing bowls. Battery-operated or electric sifters, whisks, and mixers. .

Traditions help maintain self-esteem - an important element in everyone’s life. So, encourage and help her - provided she truly wants to continue baking.

Question: My father, 83, just moved in with us, is not eating properly, and has lost weight. He has high blood pressure, so I don’t use salt. He complains that the food is tasteless. How can we get him to eat?

Answer: Several things are happening. First, he has been moved from his own home and familiar environment and has to adjust to a new way of living. A change in relationship has occurred, as he is now dependent on you for his comfort. If he has been a very independent person, the new situation can make him depressed - hence lack of appetite.

Second, you don’t need to use salt to make food tasty. There are plenty of spices that make food taste good - garlic, onions, parsley, ginger, oregano, rosemary, pepper; to name a few that will not adversely impact his blood pressure.

Food is one of life’s great pleasures, and blandness can detract from that pleasure. Most people eat because of taste, with nutrition being a secondary factor. So you need to combine the two to entice your father.

Question: My mother, 76, suddenly wants to eat only Chinese and Mexican food. She now lives with us and turns her nose up at my cooking. She used to love whatever I made. Is she becoming demented?

Answer: No, dementia is not why her food likes have changed. As one ages, often a person’s senses (vision, hearing, taste, feeling) diminishes. So, her taste buds may have changed.

Both Chinese and Mexican foods have a lot of spices. So, she is reacting to this. If it’s the soy sauce taste she likes, add a little to vegetables as well as other foods, fish, chicken, meat. Chinese food also has garlic and ginger - which are both tasty and healthy. Mexican foods have hot chili peppers. They can be added to whatever it is that you’re cooking.

Unless a person is allergic to a particular spice or it interacts negatively with medication, adding all kinds of spice to food can increase pleasure.

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 568 words; other material = 160 words

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