Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday December 23, 2005

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

AGE IS A STATE OF MIND

 

Question:  I am 76 and in excellent health.  I want to visit my home town in Italy.  I left there 50 years ago.  I’ve been writing to cousins for years and now want to see them all.  My son, in particular, is overprotective and doesn’t want me to go alone.  He says, “you’re too old.”  Need support.

 

Answer:  “Old” age is a matter of attitude, especially if you’re physically healthy, rather than chronological age.  So, go for it!

            One random survey of 200 people of all ages shows that attitude is a key determining factor in whether a person is “old.”  “People are old when they think they are,” was one person’s comment.  Those surveyed also said that how a person walks and moves around is also an indicator of “age.”

            As you’re visiting relatives, your son shouldn’t worry.  They will make sure you stay in safe hotels and are steered to taking reliable tours. Also they will be there just in case you do get sick.

            It is advisable to take out a special medical insurance policy - just in case.  Make sure it includes not only hospital and doctors bills but also “medivac” benefits (plane transportation).A friend of mine years ago maxed out two credit cards when he got very sick in China. The travel insurance reimbursed him for all the expenses, including air fare.

 

Question:  My mother, 77, wants to take a Mediterranean cruise this spring, so she can visit her homeland.  She wants me to go with her.  I am wary.  First, because of her age.  Second, because I’ve never traveled overseas.  Should I discourage her?

 

Answer:  Encourage her!  A well-planned trip, regardless of one’s age, can be a marvelous experience.  Visiting her homeland and possibly seeing relatives can provide a great emotional high.  Certainly for you, it would open-up new life experience doors.

            A few TIPS:

            • Choose a trip that fits her physical capabilities.  Some very large ships must anchor offshore in small ports.  A smaller boat is needed to reach shore, and the transfer can be tricky.  So choose the right kind of ship.

            • Make sure you take current medical records, a list of all medications taken and dosages, extra medicine, and duplicate prescriptions in case medicine is lost.  Never pack medicine in your suitcase.  Carry them with you.

            • From California, you have a long flight to pick up the ship.  A couple of days in New York can help ease the physical toll of travel.

            • On the plane, put a pillow behind you just above your waist and get up and walk around once an hour.  Also, drink a lot of liquids.  Plane air is much dryer than outside air.

            My parents visited us in the Philippines when my father (who loved to travel) was 70.  His last big trip was at age 84, when he went to Israel by himself.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 551 words; other material = 160 words

 

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