Globe Syndicate

 

For release Friday April 21, 2006

 

 

The Sandwich Generation . . . Helping Your Aging Parents

 

by Carol Abaya, M.A.

 

 

VACATIONS ARE FOR RECHARGING

2nd of 2 Parts

 

Question:  My father died last fall, and my healthy mother, 75, leans on me for everything, especially social interaction.  My husband has been working very hard, and we badly need a vacation.  My mother wants to come.  I hate to say “no,” but.....

 

Answer:  Even though this particular column is about multi-generation vacations, in this case, I would advise you to say “No.”  You and your husband have a right to get away by yourselves and recharge your own batteries.  Encourage your mother to join a group tour or elder hostel program.

 

TIPS to Make a Multi-generation Vacation Fun:

            In planning a three generation vacation, you need to:

            1.  Decide what kind of climate will give you the activities you all can enjoy.  Hot?  Cold?  Moderate?  This will help you identify a general geographic area as well as time of year for this special vacation.

            2. Identify a place that has a combination of activities which address each generation’s physical capabilities as well as interests.  While your parent may be very active, he or she may still like some slower paced, less physically challenging fun.  You and your children may look for adventure -- outdoors, physically challenging. New Mexico, particularly Santa Fe and Albuquerque, has activities for everyone. (See last week’s column.)

            3.  Specify you want adjacent rooms when you make hotel reservations.  Be sure to ask if there is a discount for booking three or more rooms.  Each generation (even the children) should have a separate room.  Don’t double-up generations!  Everyone needs his or her quiet time.

            4.  Evaluate available public transportation and how everyone will get around.  In big cities, public transportation is available at a low cost.  In smaller cities, there is little, if any, public transportation.  Driving and getting around can be a hassle and generally means everyone has to stay together and participate in the same activities.

 

            In both Santa Fe and Albuquerque a couple of hotels (the Hotel Santa Fe and the Rio Grande Best Western in Albuquerque) have their own chauffeured car to take you around the main city at no extra charge.  The driver drops you off, and a telephone call later in the day brings the driver back.  Family members can easily choose different activities for part of the day and meet up later on.  These cars also enable different family members to bond with each other.  A grandmother and granddaughter may like to shop or visit a special museum.  The males might want to go to the Spanish Museum or space center. Or the sandwich generationers may want time to recharge their own batteries.

 

            Also the sandwich generationer should have a list of all medicines taken by the older parents and extra prescriptions in case medicine is lost.  Never pack critical medicine in check-on baggage.  Carry them with you in hand luggage.

 

            Additionally, everyone over 18 should carry a Living Will, which gives another family member the ability to make medical decisions in case of an accident.

 

 

Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time?  Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?

 

Do you feel alone?  Rest assured you are not alone!  The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.

 

 

 

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Do you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct to her at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132 or contact her through her web site: thesandwichgeneration.com.

 

Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.

 

NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 569 words; other material = 160 words

 

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