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by Carol Abaya, M.A.
ELDERS ARE MORE SENSITIVE IN
THE COLD WEATHER
Question: I visited my
parents the other day and found many bloody tissues in the bedroom
wastebasket. My father says his nose
runs and when he blows it, there is blood.
He is very stubborn and refuses to go to the doctor. What should I do?
Answer: During winter
months, the air gets very dry because the heat is on. This impacts nasal membranes and can cause
bleeding.
You
need to get moisture into the air.
Furnace-mounted evaporative humidifiers work best. Alternatively, small unit humidifiers can be
placed in the bedroom (a must) and other rooms of high use, such as the family
or living room. Pans with water placed
on radiators can also be effective.
Unless
bleeding is continuous, a doctor probably is not needed.
Question: I’m tearing my
hair out because my parents insist on going out even during snowy weather. I’m afraid they’ll fall and break bones as
the garage is 40 feet from the house. I
live 60 miles away and can’t get there to shovel every time it snows. They won’t listen to me.
Answer: Long distance
“concern” and caregiving is difficult.
To ensure a clean driveway, steps and sidewalks -- and your parents’
safety -- you or your parents should make arrangements ahead of time with
someone local -- an individual or a lawn care company that plows snow in the
winter time. If your parents are on
their regular “to plow” list, then snow can be cleared and your parents can do
what they want to. The individual or
company can bill either your parents or yourself.
You
should give guidelines as to how much snow should fall before they plow. This is determined by how much your parents
can safely handle themselves. My father
handled light snow (3-4 inches) well into his 80s.
Price
should be agreed upon beforehand, leaving in flexibility for really heavy snow
falls.
If your
parents refuse to make arrangements, tell them you're concerned because
accidents do happen. Then YOU should
make the arrangements.
Question: We stayed in my parents’
house at Thanksgiving for three days.
During that time my mother bathed only once. Her clothes stank, and she began to smell
bad. She refused to bathe more and got
mad at me when I mentioned her dirty clothes.
She was never like this in the past.
How do we get her to bathe more often?
Answer: During the
winter, older people are more sensitive to cold. Their skin often becomes thinner and frailer
and blood circulation may diminish. No
one likes to get out of a tub or shower and feel cold.
While many electric space heaters are a fire hazard, there are safe ones. They are shaped like an old fashioned radiator and have oil trapped inside which flows around and gives off heat. By heating the bathroom before and during the bath or shower, your mother will feel more comfortable and is more likely to bathe more regularly.
Are you juggling doing errands for your aging parents, your children, yourself and working at the same time? Are you tired, stressed out and upset that your once vibrant parent is now frail and needy?
Do you feel alone? Rest assured you are not alone! The Sandwich Generation is dedicated to the 50 million Americans who may have elder/parent care concerns and/or responsibilities.
* * *
Do
you have a question? Send it in. Although letters cannot be answered
individually, appropriate letters will be answered in this column whenever
possible. Letters may be edited. Send letters to Ms. Carol Abaya, mail direct
to her at
Carol Abaya is an international-award-winning journalist and creator of the unique magazine The Sandwich Generation: You & Your Aging Parents.
NOTES TO EDITORS: text = 564 words; other material = 160 words
We would appreciate it if you would include the "Globe Syndicate" bug at the end of the column.